Pamela’s Eulogy for Laura

To complete the circle of our family, I too have a few memories and reflections that I would like to share with all of you about my life with my sister Laura who I loved so dearly-

I was fortunate enough to share a room with Laura for the first twelve years of my life.  I will always treasure the memories of playing with our trolls together for endless weekend mornings, on the rug that lay right between our beds.  I will also remember when Laura used to push the dresser that was between our beds against my legs whenever I tried to make my bed first.

I will always remember being the one to follow my sister around the world to meet her in Kyoto, Japan; Juneau, Alaska; and Yellowstone National Park all before I turned 20 years old.  One memory of our time in Japan that stands out even more so than seeing the majestic Mount Fuji, visiting MANY Buddhist temples and meeting Laura’s Japanese family and community of friends.  The memory is when Laura took me to her calligraphy lesson, she told me that as an observer I would need to sit on my knees and be still for the full session so that I would not offend her master instructor.  I dutifully did not move a muscle despite the numbness I felt in my legs.  In my younger years I always felt as if I had to listen to whatever my sister said.

I will always remember the years that we sang together during middle school and high school in our temple junior choir.  Through our singing connection we sang a prayer at Madeline’s wedding and we sang again at the Sabbath evening service before my wedding.  Our singing connection was recently rekindled as Laura’s cognitive abilities changed.  Two weekend ago at my mother’s 80^th birthday celebration and during the last few days of Laura’s life, when she could no longer speak – we were able to sing together. Music was a way that we were able to connect.

I will always remember and be inspired by Laura’s strong will and determination.  Her determination has been and will remain a motivating influence for me and for many of us as we carry on.

I feel blessed to have had Laura as my support during the birth of my second lovely daughter, Sophie.  And I feel blessed and privileged to have been one of those who shared and supported Laura during her final days and hours as she peacefully died at home.

During the recent high holidays as I was praying and thinking about Laura, I came upon this poem in the prayer book that spoke to me.  I’d like to share it with you -

         Birth is a beginning

         And death a destination.

         And life is a journey:

         From childhood to maturity

         And you to age:

         From innocence to awareness

         And ignorance to knowing:

         From foolishness to discretion

                  And then, perhaps, to wisdom:

         From weakness to strength

         Or strength to weakness-

                  And, often, back again;

         From health to sickness

                  And back, we pray, to health again;

         From offense to forgiveness,

         From loneliness to love,

         From joy to gratitude,

         From pain to compassion,

         And grief to understanding-

                  From fear to faith:

         From defeat to defeat to defeat-

         (or in Laura’s case from victory to victory to victory)

         Until, looking backward or ahead, we see that victory lies

         Not as some high place along the way,

         But in having made the journey, stage by stage,

                  A sacred pilgrimage,

         Birth is a beginning

         And death a destination.

         And life is a journey,

         A sacred pilgrimage-

                  To life everlasting.

Through Laura’s journey with her illness I had the opportunity to get much closer to her and to her family, Jo, Isaiah and Iris.  I will always cherish the time and extra bonding that Laura and I we were able to share over the past four years.

I will miss Laura on the rest of my life journey.  I am sure that her spirit is now whole and finally at peace.  I love you Laura.